If I could lay on a soft -spoken, kind-hearted physcoanalyst’s couch for an hour a week and discuss all the reasons why this mommy can’t focus on one thing at a time, maybe I’d feel half-way normal. Or better yet, maybe if someone came up with a teeny, tiny, little pill (with no side effects) to treat this issue at the onset (i.e. the exact moment you deliver your little one), maybe we’d be better off. I honestly can’t call it, but I do know that from the time I became a mommy, this insane level of distraction and inability to focus was in full effect.
It never fails and it never ends. I’m either in the middle of an important meeting or focused on drafting a critical document when my child’s school’s name appears on my phone in Broadway lights. All moms know that a mid-day call from the school is the absolute kiss of death for any train of thought. It’s literally like staring at that crazy bright little light at the eye doctor. Once you looked at it, it’s forever ingrained on your retina and you can’t see anything else no matter where you look! So yeah, of course I’m answering the phone each and every time. Nine times out of ten there is NOTHING WRONG; in fact, my absolute favorite is to stop a meeting to answer a SCHOOL ROBO CALL! But there’s never a time that I’d ignore that call on the off chance that something could be wrong. My heart stays in my stomach until I realize that everything is fine. THIS IS WHY I NEED THE COUCH!
Let’s face it. After having a child, it is incredibly difficult to focus on the task at hand, whatever it may be. There’s “left brain”, “right brain” and “Mom brain” which dominates every brain that ever existed. There’s absolutely no competition or way of defeating this MomBrainitis. At any given moment of the day, I’m juggling scheduling Dr. appointments, running to Dr. appointments, scheduling play dates, running to play dates, RSVPing to birthday parties, running to birthday parties, preparing for school trips, school projects or assignments, remembering splash day, dress-up day, pizza day and picture day (you get the point), just to name a few. Oh, and let’s not forget the all-important trivia question we get to solve each… and… every… day: “What’s for dinner?” That’s my favorite, followed by the close second of “I’m bored”.
My brain is on a 10 at all times and this is not even to mention the things I need to remember for work or even schedule for myself or the larger family. Honestly, it’s not even just the tasks that invade my thoughts. Mom-related tasks are just a necessary component of being Mommy, and I embrace this wholeheartedly. The largest part of my issue is the fact that I regularly worry. It doesn’t matter what I’m doing at the moment, I find myself wondering: Are they okay? Are they well-adjusted? Have I been a “good mom”? Have I done right by them? How will my kids turn out? I know that some of these invasive thoughts are more logical than others and clearly the tasks need to be addressed, but it just feels like incessant functional chaos in my head and I’m not exactly sure how to tackle this.
So here we are, I’m failing at focus at its really starting to affect my life. There are weeks when I feel like I’m just keeping my head above water and other when I feel like I have drowned. There are nights when I wake up multiples times thinking about my to-do list, but like most moms, I smile and keep plugging away! I say yes to everyone when I know I should say no. I would love to be everything to everyone, but I’m crazed and I just can’t. In order to be a great mom, I need to be a great NicoleMH, so I’m going to try a few things to get control of this MomBrainitis. We have an amazing Momsquad and I already have ideas from our mommy community; boy do I hope they help. Step one will be to get more organized. Like my Littlest One says: “Beat a can’t with but a try!” which is not quite what I say. I ACTUALLY say “Nothing beats a FAIL but a TRY”, but you Mommies understand kid-speak and get both of our gists). I’ll update you next week!
Tell us your stories about how beat MomBrainitis! We welcome all suggestions!
For more information and suggestions, check out our “Organized Mommy” board on our MommyHue Pinterest HERE.
(Disclaimer: No stranger to mental health issues in my family, I am very sensitive to the topic, what it entails and how it affects the family dynamic. My literary license is not meant to be misconstrued as flippancy.)